.Monday, November 19, 2007 ' 12:58 AM
what have i done wrong?perhaps, i had.
perhaps, i should have spent more time with
them.
perhaps, i should have entered poly.
perhaps, i should have given them more of my time.
perhaps, i shouldnt think that
nothing will go wrong.
perhaps, you all think everything's fine.
but, the truth is,
its not.
if i were to blog about today half an hr ago, maybe, this entry will be a happy one, a
lighthearted one.
i shouldnt have dragged it. should have blogged the moment i come online, maybe, after blogging, i would have just go to bed and then,
that wouldnt have happened.
i was
happy initially! since last thur, ive been thinking that my next CAT lesson will be on mon(19nov). so, as a
PROFESSIONAL procrastinator, i kept on dragging my CAT's homework and test till like 2hrs ago? and guess what, when i finished sorting out my papers, ready to start doing my homework and test, i realised a stupid fact!
MY NEXT CAT LESSON IS ON WEDNESDAY!!! i was telling TIANSHUI and JUNRONG how blur i was larhs! if i didnt check my timetable just now, i think, i will just go ahead, do my CAT homework, study for test and tmr, wake up a 7plus, get changed and go to school.
omg.
why am i always like that?now. for the
sad incident. maybe. its isnt appropriate for me to talk about it here. cos. like what i told JUNRONG, i havent thought about the solution to the problem. even YVONNE, i dare not talk to her about this. its too...
TOUGH for me to tell her.
maybe.
life is like that. you move on in life. get to know more and more friends. and you realise, PROBLEMS will start to surface between you and your friends.
in prisch, you will have your prisch
clique, at that time, you will say things like,
"we'l be FRIENDS FOREVER okay? from now, till secsch, then jC till WE ALL GROW UP!" but, after prisch, everyone goes seperate ways and... the FRIENDS FOREVER is
gone.
in secsch, you will have your secsch
clique and again, you will say things like,
"we'l be FRIENDS FOREVER okay? from now, till jC, den we all get married till WE ALL GROW OLD! "im scared. that history will repeat itself and so,
NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME, i try to balance the time i spend with my
2 IMPORTANT GROUPS of friends. "my JC group", "my POLY group", "my JC group", "my POLY group", i
always talk about them to my classmate. so much so that my classmates knows almost everything about these
2 IMPORTANT GROUPS of mine! there are also times, many actually, that i actually will turn down my classmates when they ask me out,
JUST TO BE WITH EITHER OF THESE 2 IMPORTANT GROUPS of mine. even if i do feel
sad when my classmates comment on the number of times i turn them down, i felt that
its okay. cos.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THESE 2 GROUPS OF FRIENDS.
but. no matter how hard i tried,
i still failed.
i still failed to balance the time i spend with them well. perhaps.
im the one at fault.
i shouldnt keep turning you all down. ive turned down your offers so many times till you all felt it was hopeless asking me if i can join you all, as you all felt that i will definitely not be able to make it. i
understand. i didnt pester you all to go out with me these days, when im having my holidays as i know you all have school. but...
maybe to you all, its a small matter. but. to me, it tells how important i am to the group.
hais. i dont blame you all, really.
i blame it on mOe's system, on the constant rejects i gave when you all asked if i can join you all.
I BLAME IT ON MYSELF...
